Euphemisms

Euphemisms are destroying the communication process. These destructive agents have taken the concept of a synonym a little too far. They are gradually turning the rhetoric of all those who engage in verbal communication into a lousy, hey mom look at me I still need my training wheels, lackadaisical, I am walking on shattered glass and am afraid to step on your feet, way of communication.

Darn, frick, and heck. Three well known destructive agents. All these terms imply the same thing as their original counterparts. How can they possibly be more acceptable, when clearly the intention to swear is there? The worst of the three is “frick.” Replacing F-bombs with frick is like settling with watching someone else throw a paper airplane after you had been promised to fly first class in a real plane. Say the word, or don’t say it at all. But euphemisms don’t just linger around swearing vocabulary.

For example, how many times have you sat at a dinner table and heard someone say, “If you pass me the peas that would be great.” Probably not very many because people are more likely to ask for dressing. Let’s try again, “If you pass me the dressing that would be great.” What ever happened to being forward, you know like, “Can you hand me the dressing please.” This euphemism business is closely linked to a theory that I embrace and that deals with the emasculation of men in our society (save that for another day). Don’t take me wrong, being polite is awesome. But talking like you are scared to talk is different business.

Here are more examples.